I think I've been kind of fooling myself. I'm not entirely sure how I'm really an artist anymore these days. My creativity is gone, blown right out the fucking door. It's hard to be positive and see the beautiful, interesting things in life when everything's just falling apart around your head, and you can't do anything about it.

~LadyZelda, my best friend since I was a little kid, is away in Iowa, in college, doing amazing things with her talents as an artist. I'm so jealous, Meg. She's even applying to graduate school, and will probably have a kick-ass job someday. Double jealous! XD 's okay. I love you though.

Anyway. I wish I could be like her. Meg's life isn't perfect (whose is?) but she's doing what she loves, and I envy her that opportunity.

As far as other things go...

I still don't have a job. I apply daily, to at least one place, and so far I've only had one interview. I don't know what's wrong, why I'm so undesirable. Maybe someone's giving me a bad review. I can't imagine why they would. I've worked hard, in all the places I've been. Some jobs just don't work out. I'm a soft-hearted person, with the emotional constitution of a kitten. I can't handle bosses that scream at me, nor can I deal with customers who are rude, perverted, and intimidating. Those things don't make me happy, and finding a job where I can have at least some semblance of enjoyment during the day is absolutely vital.

I can't even do any frigging... uh... fuck.

Commissions. Right. That's the word. I can't do any of those, because, well, I suck. End of story?

So yeah. I don't know where I'll be in a year. I don't think I'm going to be able to go to ~Enker's wedding, like I wanted, and it really doesn't seem like it will matter, anyway. My friend has already changed so much. I only call him 'brother' anymore because it's a habit. We seem to get more distant as the days stretch on. I told him once upon a time that he would, eventually, forget about me. He's getting married. Married people change their priorities.

Meh.

So yeah. Sorry for the depressing entry. My life, right now, is empty and pointless. I miss my best friend, and I can't seem to do anything right.

~Yunie // Laura // Kitty